my children, my world

I found myself at a Donna Eden energy workshop at the request of my cousin. I was up for anything and said yes without even thinking about it. I purchased her book and brought it with me.

At some point in the workshop she did a book signing.

So naturally I went up to get her signature.

She took my book and scribbled these words on the page.

Dear Maria,

You have a blue life color -

Great mom and natural healer.

(Heart) Donna Eden

I was pleasantly surprised that I had received a message but had no idea what it all meant.

I still don't.

Except for the mom part.

At first this didn't make sense.

Aren't we all moms?

Wasn't my cousin, who got her own message, also a great mom?

Back then, I didn't feel being a mom was anything special.

I was still struggling and challenged by this role.

I would look forward to them growing up and out of whatever phase it was they were in.

Being a mom was tough.

But they were my reason.

They were my everything.

I wanted to do better for them.

I wanted to be better for them.

I wanted, more than anything else, for them to know that they were unconditionally loved, felt seen and heard and know that they were fully supported.

This is still my daily intention.

I'll be honest with you -I don't know what my children's experience of me is.

They are four teenagers right now.

But my experience of them... wow, how it's changed!

I sit here today, having done this work, and can say with 100% honesty, that I am loving my experience of motherhood.

I sit here in awe and curiosity every moment they are with me.

Author Toni Morrison said this in an interview with Oprah Winfrey:

Interesting to see when a kid walks in the room, your child or anybody else's child, does your face light up?

That's what they are looking for.

When my children used to walk in the room when they were little. I looked at them to see if they buckled their trousers. If their hair was combed or if their socks were up.

And so, you think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them.

It's not.

When they see you they see the critical face. What's wrong now?

But then, as I tried to from then on, to let my face speak what's in my heart because when they walked in the room, I was glad to see them.

It's as small as that.

It's as small as that but how challenging it can be.

I know. I've been there.

I am here to tell you it can be different.

Our eyes can light up every time we see our children.

Whether they are dressed the way we want them to dress.

Whether they are acting the way we want them to act.

Whether they are doing what we want them to do.

With this practice, the light we feel inside ourselves will be reflected back to us in our children.

And at the end of the day, with a smile on your face, you will say,

"I'm so happy to have a front row seat in this adventure called motherhood."

With Much Love,

Maria